Often times, relationships fail due to lack of proper communication. Some conversations that seem uncomfortable can go a long way to saving a relationship, as the things we don’t like to talk about, are the very things that make or break us up. So, open up, it could be worth the try.

Relationships differ and their issues vary but certain conversations can help give your life the spark it requires.

Here are ten conversations that can save your relationship

INTIMACY

Issues about sex can create big divides between couples, whether it’s about lack of desire or not getting their needs fulfilled.

Even though physical attraction and intimacy wane over time in all relationships, when couples make effort to keep it alive they can go on to have great intimacy for many years.

 

BOUNDARIES

It is important to know your boundaries so you can be clear about what makes your partner unsafe, disrespected irritated, disinterested and so on.

Find out what could make your partner desire to end the relationship.

With a proper knowledge of your partner’s boundaries, you’d know when you are crossing the line or getting them upset.

 

NEEDS

As individuals we all have them. Things like safety, support, fun and so on.

These represent the foundations of our connection and bonding.

Also there is the need to grow as individuals. This might include solo projects, privacy and, so on. Get to know your individual needs and how to go about getting them.

 

FEAR

It’s important to talk about what worries you have in your relationship and personal life. So plans can be made to avoid or ease them as the case maybe.

Remember fear promotes distance and this can affect your journey together. The longer it lingers,  building anxiety,  the bigger it gets.

 

SPENDING HABITS

Monetary issues cannot be ignored in relationships. Knowing how to handle money as individuals and as a couple is key.

Are you interested in saving? What kind of saving. How do you spend? What do you spend on? What purchases can you make without consulting your partner?

If one partner is thrifty and the other impulsive and indulgent, issues might arise. So agreeing on a strategy will put both of you on the same page, working towards a common goal.

 

CHILDREN

How to parent your children and care for their needs is a vital topic that couples must talk about as there will be lots of room for divergent opinions. Also, the number of kids to have should not be ignored in such discussions.

 

FIGHTING/QUARELLING

Road bumps cannot be avoided in any relationship, but a clear taught out plan of how to communicate and handle such times can help diminish volatile arguments, sometimes leading to a fight. The solution is not avoiding tough conversations but, learning to fight fair.

What are you naturally inclined to do when hurt or having a heated argument? How do you react at such times?

When you know what your partner does naturally to be protected  at such times, you will know how best to handle such situations.

 

FAMILY MEMBERS

Surprisingly you might have different views of how you want to interact with your family and most importantly their involvement in your lives.

Being that we are from an African heritage where our culture tells us that the woman is married to the family, this is one vital topic that cannot be ignored as times are changing. Gone are the days when in-laws have so much influence in the couples lives. Due to societal demands and civilization, most couples live independently off their families. So, discussing family boundaries, when they can visit, if they will live under same roof, their level of interference as well as money spent on them, should not be ignored.

 

ALONE TIME

We are often fooled that when you are tied to a spouse, you are supposed to be with them all the time. Truth is, constantly being with your partner actually breeds an unhealthy dependency. On the contrary, you should have your own interests and spend time cultivating them. It is therefore pertinent to have a conversation with your partner about how much alone time you need.

 

WORK BALANCE

Many people wish to have huge careers. This means long hours at work and lesser hours at home with your partner.

Hours put in to building one’s career should be talked about in order to avoid sending the wrong signal with the few hours spent together.