Often times, we have this perception that relationships are meant to be romantic all the time with less tribulations, leading to a blissful state of happily-ever-after. This is actually a satisfying narrative we see all the time in movies. In reality, love is a journey without a final destination. Don’t expect that at some point in your relationship, you will look back at the obstacles and say, well that’s it, we are here now, we made it. Truth is, beyond wherever you are now, another hurdle awaits.

In order words, the stages of a relationship are not linear but cyclical. Even people who get to the final stage (whole-hearted love), eventually find themselves coming back to the first stage, starting the process all over again.

How long you stay on a stage depends on the couple. Some never advance to the later stages due to emotional immaturity or incompatibility. Some couples get stuck in a particular stage and remain there forever.

To be exact, there are five stages all relationship goes through. These stages as noted by relationship experts, over years of study, tend to progress in order. While all relationships differ, these stages of love tend to have similar characteristics.

Here is an in-depth explanation of the stages :

Honey Moon or Fantasy Stage (Stage 1)

It’s the initial, sweeping romance that often consumes a couple when they first get together. Often times, people on this stage feel like they’ve found their “perfect match,” someone who is so compatible with them. They feel they always want to be together, they experience love in its most immature form – infatuation.

These emotions are often drown out the rational part of our brain. Indeed, research tells us, this first stage is marked by biochemical changes in our brain—a cocktail of hormones that trigger and maintain a state of infatuation, such as dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphin. This brain glow can often lead us to become “addicted” to our partners and to ignore incompatibilities, red flags, or other issues.

 

Doubt and Denial Stage/ Crisis Stage(Stage 2)

We finally start to notice the differences between us and our partner. We wake up from the trance of infatuation with a thump, finding that the same qualities that once seemed so perfect have begun to annoy us. His reliability now feels rigid; her generosity seems irresponsible; their adventurous nature feels like unnecessary risk.

Unfortunately, friction is natural once we run up against each other’s differences. Power struggles increase, and we marvel at the change in our partner. feelings of love mixed with alienation and irritation. Perhaps we’re not “perfect” for each other after all.

 

Disillusion Stage(Stage 3)

This may feel like the end of the road for some couples. At this point, the power struggles in the relationship have come fully to the surface; the issues the couple have consistently shoved under the rug are now glaringly obvious. Some people become perpetually vigilant, ready to fly into battle at the slightest provocation. Other couples might quietly move apart over time, putting less and less energy into maintaining the relationship and investing more outside of it.

At this juncture, our original experience of passionate love is often a distant memory. The “I” reemerges, a state that feels a lot safer than our former blissful experience of “we.” Nevertheless, some couples may not question their commitment; instead, they may see this as a strong message that things need to change.

 

Decision Stage(Stage 4)

The fourth stage of a relationship is called the Decision stage because you’re at a breaking point. Emotional breakdowns, leaving the house for hours to get away from each other after a fight, and self-protective behaviors are all commonplace. So, too, is indifference and remoteness.

You know you’re here when you begin to seriously contemplate leaving and even make plans for exiting the relationship. You may feel ready for an enticing new beginning with a new person.

In this stage, we make a decision—whether that’s to leave, to stay and do nothing despite how miserable we are, or to stay and actually work on fixing this relationship

 

Whole Herted Love(Stage 5)

This is when our relationship is at its healthiest and most rewarding. It’s love’s summertime, when the fruits of a couple’s labors are fully ripe and ready to be savored. Couples experience self-discovery, and the acceptance of imperfection in both themselves and their partners, recognizing there is no such thing as a “perfect match.”

There’s hard work still involved in this fifth stage of a relationship, but the difference is that couples know how to listen well and lean into uncomfortable conversations without feeling threatened or attacking one another.

In this stage, couples also begin to play together again. They can laugh, relax, and deeply enjoy each other. They even can experience some of the thrilling passion, joys, and sex of the Merge as each person rediscovers themselves in ways that let them fall in love with each other all over again.