“If E Cast, I Go Just Bounce”, The New Love Language

There was a time when Naija people entered relationships like cruise ships, no life jackets, no plans to jump. Just love and vibes. But now? People dey date like they dey play Squid Game. One wrong move, and it’s “this is not working for me anymore” with zero explanation and a fast block.

These days, it’s no longer “I love you”, it’s “what are we doing?”  And the reply? “Let’s just see how it goes.”

That “see how it goes” is not innocence, it’s insurance. Emotional insurance. The type you buy when you’ve seen your friends cry into pillows at 3am too many times.

Heartbreak Has Turned Us to Planners

Gen Z love in Nigeria is now about being two steps ahead of pain. Ask around, everybody has a soft exit. Some keep exes on standby like backup generators. Others never delete dating apps, just in case. A few even plan their captions for the inevitable breakup—yes, people now pre-write heartbreak posts.

It sounds cold, but when you consider how unpredictable this generation’s love cycle is from soulmates on Monday to strangers by Thursday, can you blame anyone?

Welcome to the Era of Situationships and “Almosts”

There’s a new kind of relationship in town: Not boyfriend, not girlfriend, but “we talk every day sha”. Not committed, but “he gets jealous when I post other guys.” Not dating, but “we do everything couples do.”

These situationships are unofficial love zones filled with benefits but no accountability. And for many, that’s the safest place to be. Why? Because labeling things makes the heartbreak real. And we’re all tired of being the clown in someone else’s love story.

Is This Strategy, or Just Cowardice in Gucci?

Honestly speaking, not everyone playing this smart-love game is a victim. Some are just wicked with clean shoes and sharp replies.

They know how to give just enough attention to keep you hopeful but never enough to make it real. They drop “I’m not emotionally available” after collecting your love like tithe. They vanish after you introduce them to your mom, with only “I’m dealing with a lot right now” as a souvenir.

So, is this all just trauma response? Or are we normalizing wickedness?

Love in Lagos: A Survival Manual

In this city, everyone is in survival mode. Rent is high, trust is low, and soft life is expensive.
So, people now ask: “Why invest in someone who might ghost you faster than GTB’s network during salary week?”

And you know what? Maybe they’re right. Maybe having an exit plan is not lack of love maybe it’s proof of self-awareness. Maybe, in a world where love feels like war, protecting your heart is the real sign of maturity.

Final Thoughts: Love No Dey Scam, People Just Dey Fear

We asked: Is love a scam or are people just smart? The truth? It’s both.
Some are scared, some are scarred, some are just selfish. But beneath all that savage, there’s still a generation dying to be held, dying to be chosen, just not willing to lose themselves in the process.

So until we learn to love without fear, we’ll keep dating with one hand on the plug.
Because in Nigeria today, even heartbreak get data plan.

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