Modern romance and the rising cost of dating

People want love, but their bank accounts are negotiating first.

Love Used to Be Simple, So What Happened?

There was a time, not too long ago, when love was measured in presence, not price tags. A long walk under streetlights, a handwritten note, suya shared from the same paper. That was enough to spark something real.

Fast forward to today, and romance feels like it comes with an invoice.

Dinner dates now require budgeting. Proposals look like production budgets. Even casual talking stages sometimes feel like subscription plans nobody warned us about.

Love didn’t disappear. It got expensive. And millions of people across Nigeria and the world are quietly asking the same uncomfortable question:

When exactly did loving someone start to feel like a financial project?

 The Rising Cost of Modern Dating

One of the most searched questions online right now is:

“Why is dating so expensive in 2026?”

The answers are layered, but the numbers don’t lie.

In Lagos today:

A decent dinner date can cost between ₦25,000 and ₦80,000

  • Valentine’s Day packages in upscale spots easily cross ₦150,000

  • Proposal setups by event planners now start from about ₦200,000 upward

What used to be spontaneous has become structured. What used to be emotional has become transactional.

 Some people are not avoiding relationships because they hate love, they are avoiding the invoice attached to it.

 Social Media Raised the Romance Standard

Let’s be honest about the elephant in the room. Instagram did not create love pressure, but it amplified it.

Every scroll comes with:

  • Surprise vacations in Zanzibar

  • Candlelight rooftop dinners

  • “He proposed with a brand new car” moments

  • Matching designer outfits for pre wedding shoots

Slowly, quietly, dangerously, comparison entered the chat. Now many people are not just dating their partners, they are dating public expectations.

 Romance used to be private. Now it performs for an audience.

This shift has created what psychologists call “performative romance pressure,” where couples feel compelled to match what they constantly see online.

The Psychology Behind Expensive Love

Another popular Google query is:

“Why do relationships feel financially draining?”

Here is the uncomfortable truth.

Modern romance now sits at the intersection of:

  • Emotional validation

  • Social signaling

  • Lifestyle branding

In simple terms, many romantic gestures today serve two audiences:

  1. Your partner

  2. The public

When both audiences must be impressed, the cost naturally rises.

 Love is still emotional, but the packaging has become premium.

 Inflation Is Quietly Killing Romance

Nigeria’s economic reality cannot be ignored in this conversation.

With rising fuel costs, food inflation, and general cost of living increases, disposable income is shrinking. Yet romantic expectations are rising. That mismatch is where the real tension lives.

Consider this real lifestyle example. Tunde, 29, a mid-level banker in Lagos, shared that he now spaces his dates once a month instead of weekly. Not because feelings changed. Because prices did.

“I still like her the same way,” he admitted,
“but my salary did not get the memo that dating in Lagos has upgraded.”

This is the silent story of many young professionals today.

 Are Women Really Asking for Too Much?

This question trends heavily on Google, and the answer requires nuance, not noise.

The truth sits in the middle.

Many women today are not necessarily demanding luxury for vanity alone. For some, effort equals seriousness. Investment signals intention. At the same time, social media has undeniably shifted baseline expectations upward. The real issue is not that standards exist.

The real issue is when financial performance replaces emotional presence.

The moment love becomes a financial audition; many genuine people quietly exit the stage.

 The Hidden Costs Nobody Talks About

Beyond obvious spending, modern romance carries invisible financial pressure:

  • Constant gifting culture

  • Birthday and anniversary escalation

  • Couple aesthetics and lifestyle maintenance

  • Transportation and logistics in big cities

  • Emotional spending during relationship conflicts

These micro costs accumulate. Before long, love starts to feel like a monthly subscription you forgot you signed up for.

 What People Are Secretly Searching About Love and Money

Based on trending search behavior, these are the quiet questions people are typing into Google late at night:

  • Is dating becoming too expensive

  • How much should a man spend on dates

  • Why do relationships fail because of money

  • Can love survive financial problems

  • How to date on a budget without looking broke

Notice the pattern. People are not tired of love.

They are tired of the financial anxiety attached to it.

Can We Make Love Feel Real Again?

Yes, but it requires intentional reset. Not a motivational speech. A cultural reset.

Couples who are thriving today often share one thing in common, they consciously redefine what effort looks like between them.

Some practical shifts:

  • Planning experience based dates, not just expensive venues

  • Having honest money conversations early

  • Separating social media romance from real intimacy

  • Prioritizing consistency over occasional grand gestures

The future of romance will belong to couples who choose meaning over maintenance.

 Final Thoughts, Love Is Not Supposed to Feel Like Debt

Love has always required effort. But it was never designed to feel like a financial burden.

Somewhere between soft life culture, inflation, and digital comparison, the emotional simplicity of romance got buried under curated expectations. The good news? People are waking up.

Quietly. Gradually. Intentionally. Because at the end of the day:

If your bank account is doing all the talking in your relationship, love itself has already gone silent.

And maybe, just maybe, this generation will be the one to bring the conversation back.